


Pigeon

by pumpkinsonly



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Exorcisms, Gen, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkinsonly/pseuds/pumpkinsonly
Summary: “Isn’t that fucked up?”
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	Pigeon

**Author's Note:**

> **CW for physical and emotional child abuse**

“Isn’t that fucked up?” Lydia says. She puts the cap back on her pen, reaching for another one. They all look identical to Beetlejuice. “We made pigeons be our companions. That’s what we bred them for! We made them take our messages and steer our ships and eat our pests and then what do we do? Throw them out and call _them_ the pests! That’s fucked up, dude!”

“Yeah,” is all Beetlejuice says.

(Juno had a plan for him. He was meant to take over, he was meant to be her ticket to retirement. All she had to do was whip him into shape and teach him the ropes. Easy, right? He’s _her_ kid. How could she mess it up?

But no one prepares you for an absolute fuckup of a kid. It’s not her, she knew that. She came from a long line of caseworkers. Her father ran the waiting room before her, and her grandmother before that, and so on. So how did she manage to push out some kid who can’t even keep the rules straight?

-

Do not joke with me, boy, this is not fun and games. This is your future. Take it seriously for once.

No, they cannot go back. I know that he’s only five. I know he misses his father. That’s not our problem. They do not get to go back.

No exceptions. Stop crying, caseworkers don’t do that. You are meant to be emotionless to set a good example for the new souls. Can you really not manage that?

-

Stop that. Get over here. Now, traditional exorcism is for ghosts, not for demons. But you can learn from it just the same. Pay attention to the pronunciation -- that’s the most important.

Fuck off, he's my kid. It's tough love. I'll let him out of it once I feel like he's learned his lesson.

What? It didn’t kill you. You won’t ever have the chance to _be_ killed. Stop crying and get up.

-

Seriously? After all I’ve done for you, you fuck it up on the one day off I’ve had for centuries. You know what? I’m done with you. I don’t need you. No one here needs you. 

Send him off to the mortal world. Let him watch all those humans he seems to like so much. I don’t give a shit what curses you have to do to make it work. You couldn’t pay me to care about him at this point. Just get him the fuck out my sight and the fuck out of my waiting room.)

“Yeah,” he repeats. “That’s pretty fucked up.”

**Author's Note:**

> idk if this is anything. i don't usually write angst, this just kind of happened? lmk if you like it.
> 
> find me on tumblr @seizetheday-o


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